Why Guys Have All The Luck

1. A guy's butt is never a factor in a job interview.
2. A guy's orgasms are real. Always.
3. A guy's last name stays put.
4. The garage is all his.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. Chocolate is just another snack.
7. He can wear a white shirt to a water park.
8. Foreplay is optional.
9. He never feels compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
10. Car mechanics tell him the truth.
11. He doesn't give a rat's ass if someone notices his new haircut.
12. The world is his urinal.
13. Hot wax never comes near his pubic area.
14. He never has to drive to another gas station because "this one's just too icky."
15. Same work . . . more pay.
16. Wrinkles add character.
17. He doesn't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
18. Wedding Dress $2,000; Tux rental $100.
19. People never glance at his chest when he is talking to them.
20. The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.
21. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle his feet.
22. One mood . . . all of the time.